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Spotted the Ex

September 19, 2012 // Posted in Eats and Drinks, Friends, Life (Tags: , , ) |  Comments Off on Spotted the Ex

Don’t you hate it when you are out with friends having a nice time and then all of a sudden you see your most hated ex walk into the room? That is a huge downer moment for me. I am always very uncomfortable about how to handle that. My first instinct is always to just grab my purse, pay my tab and get the fuck out of there. But then I think, why should that asshole spoil my good time? So sometimes I just stay and ignore the motherfucker.

That happened last night and I was so tempted to just leave. I know he saw me at the bar with my friends and he walked in with a couple of his guy friends. I bet if I hadn’t been there, that he and his friends would have come over to hit on the other girls. I thought if I left then maybe one of the girls would have a shot at meeting one of his friends. Then I realized that the ex might be the one to hit on one of my friends and that would be seriously wrong for me to wish that hot mess on any of my friends. So I stayed and just ignored the motherfucker, and after about 20 minutes I saw him leave with his friends and walk down the street to some other club.

Popcorn Lunch

September 13, 2012 // Posted in Eats and Drinks, Friends, Life, Shopping, Work (Tags: , , ) |  Comments Off on Popcorn Lunch

Things were so crazy busy around here that all I had for lunch was a bag of microwave popcorn. I don’t even like popcorn all that much, but I was starving and that was the only thing I could see in the vending machine that would be even halfway healthy. I like chocolate as much as the next girl, but when you are hungry, chocolate does not fill you up.

Never knew there were so many different brands and flavors of popcorn until I went to Kroger this morning to pick up some popcorn and just keep it in my desk. I also picked up 5 frozen dinners to keep in the break room at work. They were on sale for $2 a piece and you can’t beat that price plus the convenience of them being just 6 minutes in the microwave away from being a fast lunch.

The only problem with putting a lot of food in the freezer at work is that people steal your food when they are stuck there late at night working on a deadline and don’t want to go out to buy their own fucking dinner. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone to the freezer to grab one of my frozen lunches and I find a sticky note in there saying I.O.U. and my lunch is gone. When that happens I track down the fucker who stole my lunch and make him take me out to Longhorn Steakhouse for a lunch. That always costs about $20 instead of the $2 frozen lunch that they stole from me. But some of those guys don’t care at all – they even write it off on their expense reports and we both get to eat for free.

Lizard Love

September 10, 2012 // Posted in Friends, Life (Tags: , , ) |  Comments Off on Lizard Love

Never have been much of a fan of lizards and reptiles, but my girlfriend is all excited about getting a lizard for a pet. She wants a bearded dragon and has been saving up for an aquarium and heater to make him a home. The aquarium is not so much to hold water as it is a cage with glass walls so you can see the lizard.

Evidently there is a whole sub culture of people who love lizards and reptiles. When she says the words bearded dragon, a lot of people get all excited about it and start telling her stories about their own strange pets. Even the lady who checked out my groceries at Kroger last night was wearing earrings with lizards, so I asked her about them and heard this whole big story about how she has always raised lizards and one just died after 14 years and she is still teary eyed when she talks about him.

Well, I don’t get it, but to each his own. If my girlfriend gets one, I hope she doesn’t expect me to hold it or take care of it when she goes out of town on weekends. That is too much to ask of me – I don’t think I could do it.

Tell it like it is

May 23, 2012 // Posted in Friends, Life (Tags: ) |  Comments Off on Tell it like it is

dont-sugarcoat

People who know me will tell you this. I don’t sugar coat anything. I tell it like it is. If your feelings get hurt, you just have to deal with it and get over yourself. Why should I make it easy for anyone? Nobody gives a hit about MY feelings.

Bet Your Sweet Ass

April 5, 2012 // Posted in Friends, Laughs, Life, Memories (Tags: ) |  Comments Off on Bet Your Sweet Ass

When I was a kid my parents were talking about this secret club and they were teasing us kids about it. So the idea of the secret club is that you have an initiation. It’s a test to see if you are good enough to join the club. They did it to us, but we didn’t pass the test, so we were fucked from joining.

You never know who is in the club unless someone who is already in the club asks you a secret coded question. If someone in the club asks you, “Are you a Turtle?” you have to give them the right coded answer of they automatically know that you are not in the club.

I learned how to fuck with them about that, tho. Even though I’m not in the club, I know the secret answer because I remember hearing my parents talk about it and laughing their asses off when people unwittingly didn’t answer right.