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Trick Question Got Me

April 29, 2012 // Posted in Life, Memories, Money (Tags: , ) |  Comments Off on Trick Question Got Me

My bank has this weird log in process where you have to answer questions besides just enter a user name and a password. They call it a comfort assurance or some shit. So I had to get online to check some things on my account and I’m in a hurry and I must have messed up something when I tried to log in. It asked me for the answer to a security question and I didn’t know what to put in there.

What is freaking my out about it is that I don’t remember setting this up and answering the question in the first place. So how does the bank know the name of my best friend when I was growing up? No shit – that was the question. Who was my best friend when I was growing up? Well, I didn’t have just one best friend. We moved a lot and I had several best friends. And I’m still in touch with all of them. So how the hell does the bank know what my answer is supposed to be when even I don’t know the right answer? FML.

Do Not Ring My Bell

April 23, 2012 // Posted in Home, Life  |  Comments Off on Do Not Ring My Bell

Sometimes I get totally fed up with people ringing my doorbell and trying to sell me shit. I don’t want anyone ringing my doorbell and I don’t want to buy anything that is being sold door to door. I even put a sign on the door that says “No Solicitors” and the mother fuckers STILL ring my bell.

This morning some jackass rang the bell at 9″00 and woke my ass up. I went to answer the door in hopes it was UPS or FED EX. But no, it was some jackass college kid with a clipboard. I asked him if he saw the sign about no solitiors?

He said, “I’m not selling anything. Are you the homeowner?”

I said, “Are you STUPID?!?!” and slammed the door in his fucking face.

Bet Your Sweet Ass

April 5, 2012 // Posted in Friends, Laughs, Life, Memories (Tags: ) |  Comments Off on Bet Your Sweet Ass

When I was a kid my parents were talking about this secret club and they were teasing us kids about it. So the idea of the secret club is that you have an initiation. It’s a test to see if you are good enough to join the club. They did it to us, but we didn’t pass the test, so we were fucked from joining.

You never know who is in the club unless someone who is already in the club asks you a secret coded question. If someone in the club asks you, “Are you a Turtle?” you have to give them the right coded answer of they automatically know that you are not in the club.

I learned how to fuck with them about that, tho. Even though I’m not in the club, I know the secret answer because I remember hearing my parents talk about it and laughing their asses off when people unwittingly didn’t answer right.